I had an odd dream last night. I was in the back seat of a convertible and we pulled up to my old school, St.Pet's. Cyndy was sitting shotgun and Rich was driving. I was spinning a basketball on my finger when we pulled over. Rich asked if I was going to get Dan. "He's still in school?" I asked. He told me it was a monastary. Noticing that we had stopped alongside the rectory I jumped out with the basketball and asked if either of them would come in with me, that I could show them around. They just sat there without responding. I went through the double doors. I remember the dense red carpet that just slightly shifted under each step. I climbed the winding staircase and went to Dan's tiny cell. He was dressed in a thick cloak and wore a russian cossack. He was kneeling beside the narrow bed praying with beads in his hands. I stood at the foot of the bed and asked him if he wanted to play basketball. He didn't reply so I started bouncing the ball and implored him to join us. He finally looked away from the beads and I stopped dribbling. He asked me how I expected to play without any socks to cover my feet. I looked down and was shocked to find my bare feet. Telling me that he had socks that I could wear, he reached under the pillow and handed them to me. The socks were stiff, made out of some polyester vail-like material with some intricate embroidered pattern that looked familiar but I couldn't place where I had seen it. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled them over my feet to find them incredibly too big. I started to twist them hem and as they wound tighter they resembled ordinary socks. Finally finishing I was eager to go play basketball and Dan even rose to his feet as though he planned to leave with me to the courts. We were about to leave when two very tall priests entered the room and told me to leave because Dan needed to pray. I told them that we were about to go play basketball. They looked at him disapprovingly then turned to me saying that he was not the one to make plans and that he had to stick to the "schedule". Dan went to the side of the bed and knealt back down to pray. The priests grabbed me by the arms and dragged me out of the rectory. They left me at the sidewalk. It was raining and there was no sign of Rich and Cyndy. That's when I awoke.

A strange thing happened today. On the way to work, I was checking my voice mail and got a message telling me to pick up some coffee and creamer for the office. I decided to stop at a Jewel supermarket. There are two stores near my route into work, and both are about the same distance out of the way. I was considering which to stop at when I came to a turn and found a detour sign, directing my travel towards the Jewel on Main and Roosevelt in Lombard.

With the decision made for me I drove to the shopping center. On the way into the store from the parking lot I made eye contact with a hispanic donation collector standing near the entrance. I had seen him twice earlier that week at different times of the day and we shared "hello"'s as we did again. Noting the remote probability of this circumstance, I told myself that I'd have to give a donation.

After navigating my way through the store I purchased the coffee, creamer and sugar for $8.08. Like always, I used the self check-out and noticed $5 in the change dispenser. I debated telling the supervising check-out clerk, but decided against it. The money was obviously someone's change and such an insignificant amount that wouldn't be noticed. Jewel would only stand to profit since the customer would likely not travel back to the store to reclaim the forgotten bill. So I took the money.

I was wondering what kind of chi the decision I just made would bring as I picked up my bag and left the store. On the way outside I took my wallet from my back pocket and unconsciously pulled out the $5 bill. I went through the automatic doors and immediately heard the bell being rung by the donation collector. It all became perfectly clear. I folded the bill and stuffed it into the red plastic cauldren next to the man. he smiled and nodded and I reciprocated.

I did my part and a perfect balance was attained.

I've been feeling remarkably stable for the past several weeks; no manic anxiety, no self-destructive depression. I feel as though I'm drifting through the midpoint of the emotional continuum. I haven't been taking any of that St. John's Wart or Ginseng supplements I purchased a while back. So that means this isn't an artificially induced state. I am in a natural balance and am happy with every aspect of my life, even though certain areas could go for some improvement. This is a rare pleasure for me. I realize that a state like this tends to signify the impending dawn of a dark time or the coming of bad luck, so I am just going to enjoy this moment that I have and not think about any doom to come. I wish I could put my current emotional state on reserve for when I really need it. :)